Her daddy killed himself. Blew his brains out all over the yard. It was an accident. She stood in the yard with Jonie, and he pulled her close into his chest so she didn’t see.
“You been fuckin’ him!?” He screamed it over and over again. He banged the gun down on the rough porch floor. Bang. Bang. Bang,
“I ain’t been screwin nobody! Just askin’ a question! I ain’t screwed nobody!” Bang.
“You been screwin’ him! I knowed it!”Bang.
“I oughta kill myself! You think you can leave” Bang.
“I ain’t screwed nobody!” Bang.
“You lyin’ whore, I ought-Bang.
Thud. Mary felt the a single wet drop like rain on her bare arm after the shot. Just one. The warmth ran down her arms and onto her finger tip until running off onto the soft ground. She heard the sobs of her mother. “You dumb son of a bitch. You…son…” She felt the sun’s warmth cover her and squeezed her eyes shut tighter as she felt Jonie release her. She opened her eyes and could see two shadows running down the field toward the trailer.
“He’s dead. Get in the house now. Go on in.”
She and Judy sat on the floor. Jake sat in his mother’s lap. The room was silent except for the sound of her mother’s deep breathing and the clock ticking. Outside there was the clang of the shovel. The clock ticked on. She heard the latch click in the kitchen, and Jonie entered covered in the red. She felt his gaze, but did not look up. The floor creaked under his bare feet as he walked past. His hands and clothes were red. Mary smelled the dirt her on her brother. Another door opened and closed, and the sound of running water.
That night Mary washed the red out of the tub.
Mary stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. There was a piece of grass stuck in her grey curly hair.
“Damn deer ate the flowers off every damn one of my tulips.”
I nodded and grinned.
“Every fucking damn one of them.”
“They must taste good.”
“I don’t give a damn if they taste good! They don’t need ta’ eat every damn one!” She laughs.
“Cindy gave me a book it says if you wanna get rid of the deer in your garden to put out a salt lick. Bull shit! Put outta salt lick an that’ll jus’ bait em’ in! Doe stood out in the yard just the other day an’ I said “Giiiiiit! Giiiiiiit! She just stood there lookin’ then she finally took off and ran down there through the patch.”
She motioned down to the field of weeds and grass that once held rows of strawberries. Over the years, it had become too much for the owners, and they had let the weeds and grass claim it.
“Why don’t you plant some more tulips or put a fence up?” I tried to contain my laughter while I looked at my grandmother’s sullen face.
“I put a fence up over there for my strawberries last year, and the damn rabbits got down and under the fence!”
“Well, what about the tulips? You could put a little fence up and around the tulips.”
“Alison, I ain’t wastin my time puttin no damn fence up and around there. Them deer will just find something else to eat outta the yard. Jake had to go and put that damn salt lick out there and bait em’ in. Worthless he is.”
I grinned. “Why don’t you tell him that?”
“Hey, he knows it! All he wants to do is drink and drink. He knows he’s worthless. I quit doin’ his laundry. I didn’t mind doin’ it while he was working, but once he quit working. Well, hey, that’s enough of that.”
“Draggin mud in and all over the rugs and floor. He knowed it was him. I said to Nicole so he could hear, “Who in the hell drugged this mud in all over the bathroom rugs?! It looks like somebody shit in here all over the floor!”
We both laughed.
“Well, did he clean it up?”
“Hell no, he just walked on out like he didn’t hear. Damn Jake. It did look like somebody shit all over the floor though.”
I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’t remember the band, she dragged me along) when I was 16. They were starting a wall of death and this guy who was flirting with me decides it would be funny to pull my top down, exposing my breasts, then throw me in the middle of this wall of death right as it’s about to meet. When I stumble in the middle and hit the wall someone screamed “STOP! EXPOSED GIRL!” and I thought they were all going to oggle at me. Instead, one guy quickly helped me cover up, three more helped me to my feet, and another asked who did that. When I pointed out the guy, two of them looked at him, me, each other, then nodded and punched the guy in the face before forcing him into the wall that was about to form again.
Metal men are gentlemenly as shit.
(Source: psihoticno-sarkasticna, via eyelinersam)